My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
