Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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