Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
