it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
