you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
