Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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