I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
