I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you had me at cake vodka
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
