i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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