I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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