So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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