I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
