Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
