She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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