and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
