I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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