It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
