Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
