Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
