Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
