Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
