Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
