think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
