Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
