i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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