i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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