weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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