I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
