your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
