it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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