Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
