cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
