Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
