is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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