the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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