I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
