So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
