Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
