I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's just like the Real World with babies
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
