guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
