guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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