How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
