We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
