I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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