Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
