somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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