So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
