Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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