Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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