I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
